12 years
by Sieber-girl46
Summary: Dee and Ryo split 12 years ago. What happens when Dee calls Ryo? Will he answer or leave him in the cold? What happend to make Ryo run away fromt he man he loves. Chap 2 & 3 up due to lack up updating R & R Please! :
1. Chapter 1

A/n: walks in and sighs It's good to be back FF… Just i8ncase many of you that don't know, I used to be known as Cerasvictoria on here (Please look that up, there are about 11 stories I believe… many of which have not been finished…,) unfortunately

_A/n: walks in and sighs It's good to be back FF… Just incase many of you that don't know, I used to be known as Cerasvictoria on here (Please look that up, there are about 11 stories I believe… many of which have not been finished…,) unfortunately I can't remember which email I had back then when I initially signed up for Fanfiction. So this will have to do for now. I've been squirming with anticipation to post but blast the whole spam guard… Grrr.. but anyways, here is my first fic for about a few years, so it's going to be a oneshot… Just to see what kind of readers are interested in what I've got. So to get back into the water and jump in feet first, here's my first fic!_

_DISCLAIMER: I DON'T own FAKE or the wonderful characters… If I did, I probably would be set for life right now sipping on some wine and sitting back on the beach…_

_SUMMARY: Dee contacts Ryo after 12 long years of not being able to contact him. Bikky's death drove Ryo away, but with a small glimmering chance, that has changed, or so it seems… Will Dee's request to be met at the bar one night be granted, or will he be left in the cold like he was so long ago. R&R please! First fic in about 2-3 years!_

A long airy breath hissed from between the teeth of the raven haired man, anxiously waiting an eternity it seemed. _'It's been 12 years since I've seen him… how he still haunts me._' He took a sip of his brandy and settled into his favorite spot in the bar, right behind the Galaga arcade game. He wondered if he'd even recognize him. Ryo was his partner for so long, but out of no where he shut himself out of everyone's lives after his adoptive son Bikky had gone to war and never came back. It pained the raven haired man so.

"Do you need another brandy, Dee? You've been sitting here for more than three and a half hours, Not that I'd recommend it since this will be your fifth." The bartender shot him a glance behind the counter.

"No Jim, but I could probably use a margarita… something a bit fruity to off set the brandy if it does end up coming back up. Oh, and some nachos too." He lit up a cigarette.

"Sure thing."

Another fifteen minutes passed by. Many of the late night stragglers began to go home, not wanting to miss the last train out of the nearby station. Lucky for Dee, he just lived not to far from here.

Dee was getting nervous. Ryo was never late, he always made it paramount to be on time… what the hell was taking him so long? Maybe he really had forgotten… Or maybe he didn't even want to see him.

_The answering machine beeped, He struggled with his voice as best as he could to not start choking up. _

_"Hey Ryo, it's Dee…" Ryo… how long it had been since he had even said his name in such a longing way._

_"I know that you didn't want me finding out your number, but I had to…" 'Damn, I'm such a dolt!' Dee paused_

_"Anyways… scratch that. I was just wondering if you wanted to meet me for a drink or something tomorrow night after I get off second shift. Rose has me working doubles for the recent case that I've been assigned to. I've got to say, it's different without you there…" Dee stopped, he shouldn't have said that._

_"Umm… forget what I just said, I thought it would be nice to catch up, maybe even get you out of the house. I was told by Penguin that you haven't even gone out much anymore yourself once you moved. I'll buy… if it would persuade you to come. But I'll be at the normal spot around 7:30, I'm lucky Rose is even letting me out that early. But I'd really like to catch up… If you don't show up, I understand. Anyways, I guess I'll catch you later."_

_He hung up the phone. His one chance, hoping that Ryo would answer and he got nothing except emptiness. Dee had gotten lucky. He knew that after Bikky died, it hurt him… but he never thought Ryo would go so far as to change his number, move out of his apartment, and leave town the way he did. It was by chance that Dee found out that Ryo was coming back for a few days. _

_Ryo and Penguin talked every so often, but it wasn't until recently that Dee found out about it. Penguin swore to Ryo that he wouldn't let Dee find out where he was, but she knew that it hurt Dee so when she would ask how he was, knowing that although he said he was fine, his eyes were telling stories even deeper than hell its self. _

"Dee, I'll give you 25 more minutes, but if he doesn't show up, you know I've got to have you leave." Jim motioned to the clock.

"I know, I know…" He was discouraged as he took a sip of his margarita.

_'Come on Ryo, I know what you did was wrong, but I'm not mad. You did it because you didn't know how to handle it… Just please give me a chance… just one chance. If you don't, I'll have to go another 12, maybe, or longer without seeing you, and I can't do that… I don't know if I'd be able to let myself live like that.'_

There was a faint jingling noise coming from the entrance of the bar. Dee thought it was just from the wind outside. This bar had been here forever and the seals around the door just wasn't what it used to be. Hundreds of times he thought Ryo just might walk in, but was only confronted with nothing more than a howl of wind.

Dee shook his head, expecting to be shot down. He wasn't really expecting Ryo to come by, bars were not his most choice local in the world any how. And why would he ever want to come see him of all people. Maybe if he could bring Bikky back, then, just maybe…

"Dee..?" A meek voice stood above him.

"Jim, I know, 15 minutes…" He didn't look up, to absorbed into his own pity.

"No… it's me… Ryo…" A long pause stood between them as Dee's head shot up.

A mixture of emotions filled them both. Dee was awestruck, stricken with the same emotion that coursed through him like the first day that he saw Ryo, only deeper. The same half Japanese eyes looked into his own, but instead of youth, he saw raw age that came with the restlessness that were hidden behind a veil of excitement and anticipation.

They both stayed there, neither one saying anything, just staring at each other, questions flying between them, so many at once. Ryo stood for a moment longer before swallowing hard and bursting into tears. "I'm so sorry…"

Dee stood up, taking the man into his arms, brushing back his hair. How long had it been since he last did that, since he last was able to take in his scent of old spice deodorant and after shave. It had seemed like an eternity. "It's okay, I understand… Hush now… just breath."

Ryo cried for a while longer, gripping onto Dee's shirt like it was his only way to stay on his feet. Afraid that if he let go, he would dart out of there and never come back. He had wanted to see Dee, he really had. But after he had left Dee like that, he didn't feel that he deserved him. Or that he would even want to be seen by him. But that call, made his whole world stop. His heart beat faster when he heard Dee's voice coming from the other line, but was too drawn into regret to realize that what was being asked of him. It took him half the night of listening to it over and over to understand that Dee wanted to meet up with him.

"I'm sorry Dee. I never should have left like that… I bet you are only doing this to be nice, to move on with your life. I never should have even thought otherwise. I'm just foolish."

"Damn it Ryo! Of all the years that you have known me, don't you dare patronize me! You of all people should know that!" He gripped the man tighter, struggling back hot liquid from cascading down his cheeks.

Ryo looked into those deep emerald eyes. How he had missed them. How he had wished it all back. But he was too prideful to go back.

"I'm sorry… again." He swallowed the lump in his throat.

"You dolt… you don't' have to apologize… I understand. It was hard on you, it was hard on me too, but damn it Ryo. I…" his tears were streaming down his face, no longer able to hold them back, "I fucking missed you. You had no idea how much it worried me and the guys at the precinct when you didn't show up for weeks. Every time I tried calling, thinking I did something wrong… Thinking it was all the times I said something wrong about Bikky… It made me think that you didn't love me anymore… Especially once you changed you number and we figured out that you had booked it out of town."

"Dee, I'm so sorry… The whole reason I came tonight… the whole reason I came back, I wanted to tell you… I still do love you. I wanted to come back sooner, but the images of Bikky, coming back on that plane in that box that day… scared the life out of me. I didn't think you wanted me back… not after what I had done. I wanted to come back sooner, but until you called, I didn't think it was even an option. " He clutched onto Dee tighter.

"I know love, I know… and I love you too" He kissed Ryo's forehead.

"How much longer are you here for?" Dee looked painfully into his eyes, knowing it probably wasn't going to be for long.

"I was actually coming here to find a place, maybe even get back into the 27th, but would they want me back after all that?"

"I don't care if they do or don't, I NEED you Ryo. Twelve years, moving from partner to partner, crime to crime, and it didn't get easier. No one knew me like you did, and hopefully still do. We were partners." He wiped some tears from his jade eyes.

Ryo contemplated for a while and looked at the time. "Do you mind then if I stay the night… the subways are done for the night and I do have to go back to Omaha tomorrow evening, but I was hoping I could spend it with you if you're okay with that?"

"Okay? I'm more than okay with it… I've got my life back." Dee smiled a little through teary eyes, trying not to break down again.

Ryo kissed Dee softly, knowing that the road ahead was going to be a little difficult settling down into the detective life again, but for tonight, he wouldn't have to worry about that. He wouldn't have to worry about anything.

_So there it is…. I hope you liked it. I may continue this at some point or another… it does have story potential… but I'll stop there for now. I know it was quit wordy with not enough description… forgive me, my writing bones are a bit rusty. But I should be back on track within no time. But there you have it. Please R&R! It means SO much!_


	2. Sympathy

A/N: So I've decided to continue on with this story

_A/N: So I've decided to continue on with this story. Thank you for Catti for giving me the idea to really do so. I was going to only have this be a oneshot, but I think that a continuation would be good to do. Each chapter will be different, either focusing on the present day, or going back in time. I really hope that you liked my first chapter, I appreciate the reviews, as little as I had gotten, but nevertheless grateful for! Keep reading and as always please Review! It means so much._

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own FAKE or the wonderful characters in them…_

**Chapter 2: Sympathy**

11/2/02

The day, he swore, stopped. It wasn't supposed to, but it did. It couldn't be happening, he swore it wasn't. He was pacing back and forth after the door closed to the office, replaying what happened only minutes ago, seeming like years.

_Two men clad in air force blues stepped into the office of Dee Laytner and Ryo McLean, two of the finest detectives of the 27th precinct. Dee and Ryo's head shot up. "Can we help you? If you need to file a report you can go down the hall and to the right."_

_The two men stepped forth saluting them both. "Mr. McLean, I'm not sure if you've been aware of what has happened recently, but ten of our men were killed or injured when a road side bomb exploded next to our convoy just outside the boarder of Iraq."_

_"Yes, we heard about it, I've been trying to reach Bikky this past week. I figured he was just out on more surveillance of the area." Ryo sat down, not quite knowing what was about to come._

_The men looked at the detectives for a moment, not sure which should be the first to break the news. It was always hard, having to watch the family deal with the news that they were losing a loved one. Offering condolences on behalf of the nation was something that never got easier with time._

_"Well, Bikky Goldman was one of the ones that was initially injured-"_

_"Is he alright? How bad is he?" Dee interjected._

_"Let him finish Dee," Ryo put a hand up in front of Dee. "Please continue."_

_"We flew him to the nearest airforce base available with a hospital capable of mending the wounds he had suffered, but before we could get him there…" He paused for a moment, the other taking over, "He lost a lot of blood, we couldn't replace it fast enough. I'm sorry Mr. Mclean, but Bikky is gone. We are here on behalf of the United States Air Force and the United States to offer our condolences and deep gratitude of the service of your son. We present you with the purple heart for his courageous efforts."_

_"No… You cannot… You are NOT allowed to tell me that… I want to see Bikky. Tell me where he's at… NOW!" Ryo nearly threw the chair backwards as he stood up._

_"I'm sorry, but we did what we could. We are all deeply saddened by the loss. He will be arriving here tomorrow at 1400 at Laguardia. I'm sorry." The two men saluted once more before walking out of the room, dipping their heads as they went._

Dee took his partner into his arms, feeling him struggle to break free from his tight hold. "Dee… Tell me that did not just happen. Tell me that!"

"Ryo… I wish… I wish I could, but I can't, I just can't." Tears were streaming from his deep jade eyes.

Never had they thought something like this would happen. He was supposed to be off that day... But what had gone wrong for him to be called back to base and go out on a convoy mission… why him. Where were the damned MP's supposed to be?

"Dee, what am I going to do? What the hell did we do to deserve this? What went wrong?" Ryo slammed his fist into the floor, small chips of wood flying from the impact.

"I don't know hunny, I just don't know."

_A/N: Okay, I know that this one was short, but I didn't feel as though this chapter needed to be long. It just wouldn't seem right. The next few chapters are going to be in the past, just to get the pace kind of started before we head back to the present time. Please be sure to review._


	3. Facing the Truth

A/N: Once again, thanks for reading, I love the reviews, keep them coming

_A/N: I wanted to post both chapters because I don't know when I will be on next… I have had a hard time at work, and can't get on the internet much anymore… So just incase it takes another 2 months to update, here are two chapters to keep you content. Thank you for the reviews, and I hope that more of them keep coming!_

_This chapter in honor of all of the service men and women out there fighting for our country._

_I don't own FAKE or the wonderful characters. However SSGT Stone is my own character._

**Chapter 3: Facing the Truth**

**11/3/01**

Dee and Ryo waited in hangar B6 at Laguardia. It seemed like an eternity. Neither man slept the night before, too busy trying to make phone calls, piecing together the details of what had happened, and just trying to regain their bearings. It still hadn't hit them. It just couldn't have been Bikky, each of them swearing that it wasn't. Each repeating to them selves that there was a mistake and that it was some other family that should have been receiving the news.

Drake and JJ stopped by after work the previous night, each trying to stay strong for the two men as they paced Ryo's apartment, doing anything and everything to get them to calm down. But as the night grew older, even Drake and JJ couldn't help but show some emotion as it hit them too. Bikky was a nephew to them.

A plane taxied toward the hangar. Another family that Dee and Ryo vaguely remembered were standing next to them. A family of what was four, now three, huddling together as the youngest clutched his teddy.

"Look mommy! A plane! It's SO big! That's the plane Daddy's on!" The youngest squealed with excitement, not old enough to understand the situation.

Dee and Ryo exchanged solemn understanding glances with the wife, tears streaming down her face, having gone through the same thing yesterday. The woman clutched the child close, hushing him as the plane's engines died down, as loading gear arrived next to the plane's belly. Two men undid the latch, each dressed in their BDUs.

Ryo turned his face into Dee's shoulder, he couldn't bear to watch. He didn't want to watch. It would mean that everything that he had been told, would be coming true. He told himself, prayed to himself, wished to himself that if he pinched himself hard enough, he would just wake up and Bikky would be there at home, chilling on the couch watching an NBA game with Dee.

An honor guard stepped towards the plane as two metal boxes covered by American flags were handled carefully out of the plane and onto special dollies used to transport them to a hearse nearby. He took a few moments to verify the paper work attached to them and gave them the okay to close up and prepare to take off towards the next city where families would be waiting.

Dee whimpered a little as the guard drew long strides towards them, his tears hot against his cheek. He looked over at the wife, she was breaking down along with the oldest child, had to of been about 14, she doing her best against her will to keep herself strong.

"Please follow me," The honor guard motioned towards a limousine that would shuttle them to the mortuary.

The ride to the mortuary had been a long one. Ryo stared out the window blankly. Everything was gray, the sky, the buildings, the lights, Dee… Everything just would not focus. His life behind them in a box, lifeless. All the memories that they had shared, all the dreams they had, shattered. Why wasn't this ending, why was this real?

The limousine stopped in front of Evergreen Mortuary, the honor guard leading them into a small room. "I'm sorry for each of your losses. I am Staff Sergeant Stone. Mr. Mclean, Mr. Laytner, Mrs. Hodgens, we will do our best to help you in this time of need. We have counselors on hand and we will have funeral arrangements set up as we speak with each of you individually. If you wish to see your loved ones, we will be leading you into another room shortly. Are there any questions that I can help answer at this time?"

No one answered, no one dared to talk. Small whimpers were all that filled the air. SSgt. Stone excused himself for a moment, heading for another room down the hall leaving a few moments for them alone.

Dee could only watch as his lover held his head towards the floor, he was doing his best to be there for him, doing his best not to kick himself for all the remarks that he said about Bikky joining the millitary. He regretted it now, figuring that Bikky would be there when Dee was laying on his death bed, able to get the last punch in. But it wasn't the case. He was here, no more bickering, no more 'in-your-face' comments about the Bulls being better than the Knicks, no more of Bikky smart mouthing off to him about how immature it was to see Ryo and Dee being all gushy on the couch. He wasn't here anymore… and to be honest, Dee didn't know if he could handle it.

Stone knocked on the door, "If you are ready I can take you back now."

The woman and her children went first, Dee and Ryo wanted a few moments to steady themselves. They needed to say their good-bye's, but they just could not bear to let themselves say it. "Dee, what are we going to do?"

Dee was almost startled as he was divulged in thought.

"What honey? I'm sorry, I was just thinking."

"What are we going to do? How am I going to make it through this?" Ryo's reddened eyes looked weakly at his.

"I don't know baby, I don't know." Dee's voice cracked.

Dee was supposed to be the strong one, always there to offer insight and guidance to any situation that arose. But for once even he didn't know. He had heard stories of other military families who had gone through this before, each offering advice to go on and live their lives for their lost loved ones. All said to look back and remember the good times that they shared, and to remember that they would always be there with them, but right now, there was nothing.

"Mr. Mclean," SSgt Stone peeked his head through, "You and Mr. Laytner may follow me."

The walk down the hall was a long one as both tried to keep their emotions together and their stomachs from turning. They heard the heart breaking tears of the family that went before them in room A2, their minds telling them that this would not be easy as they didn't know quite what to expect once they entered into the room. They weren't prepared. Nothing that they had ever dealt with on the force was able to prepare them for this.

They were merely inches from the room A4 as SSgt. Stone offered them one last condolence before he opened passage into the room. Never in their life did a door seem so tall and so thick. It was so quiet right then in that hallway, it was deafening.

The partners stepped into the white room. It was small, about as small as the interrogation room at the precinct, but without the window. The can lights were focused on the opened casket that lay on top of a metal cart centered in the room. Dee wrapped his arm around Ryo's waist and pulled him in. Ryo, feigning the urge to stay back.

Bikky lay there in the mahogany casket lined with silver. He had on his blues that were the formal dress for his military branch. His blonde hair that always seemed so messy, was shaved into a high and tight, leaving open view of his tanned face that carried minor cuts and small burns.

Ryo inched closer, his weight supported by Dee as he could not find the strength to stand on his own. 'Why him? Why? Of all the people out there in the world Bikky did not deserve this…' Ryo looked at Bikky, tears obscuring his vision. He placed a shaky hand on Bikky's face, smoothing over it as he had done so many times, only this time the feeling under his had was cool and leathery.

"Bik, please… just open your eyes for me. Just one more time. I beg you. I don't ask for anything else, just please do this one thing for me?" Ryo bent over the casket, placing his arms over his son, sobbing.

"Ryo…" Dee couldn't manage anything else, hearing his lover break like this was harder than he could have ever anticipated.

The two cried, running their hands though their son's hair, caressing his face, wondering if he died in pain, wondering if in his last moments he was laughing, spurting off smart assed remarks about his fellow wing men. They were in there for a while, just holding each other, reminiscing, trying to find the strength to leave that room, and do what had to be done to lay their son to rest.

_A/n: I know that this was a sad chapter, but I felt that if I didn't, the story would just be missing something. I started crying as I reread this chapter myself. I'm sorry for those of you that have had this happen to you before, and I'm sorry if I didn't get the details right. I do apologize. If you have any information for me to update this with more accurate information, please let me know. I hope to have another chapter up within a week… please be sure to review._


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